Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
