Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
