The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
