I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
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