I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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