You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
