You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
did i just pee glitter
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
