how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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