oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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