it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Floor bacon is actually really good
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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