One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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