# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Who put my cat in the fridge?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
