I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
