I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its about making memories worth repressing
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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