i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
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so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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