I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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