I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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