then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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