wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
