When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
