The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
