Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
