woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
