I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize