Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize