hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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