Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
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