well I can't set my house on fire every night
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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