cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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