remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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