Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
