What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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