quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
