That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
