I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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