There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
