I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize