i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
