dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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