Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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