So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
