haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Randomize
