Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
look no pants
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
