She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
