I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
