please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
