THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
