i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
