I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you would pick up someone in the library
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
