Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
