we made out on top of his cat.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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