im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Randomize