Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize