Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
