Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
