I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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