He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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