I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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